Avoiding the Sign

I don’t open my mouth because I don’t know what to say.
At the same time, I don’t know what to pray.
Although I live each day,
I feel like I’m dreaming up a nightmare.
A nightmare where the world is lost.
And everyone has to pay their own cost.
And that everyone includes me.
How foolish of me to think I can see.

The future I cannot see;
I don’t really know who to be.
Because I see a sign that says, “Welcome to Hell.”
Hell isn’t where I ever want to dwell.

I have sinned, and I will continue to do so.
My spirit right now is so heavy and low.
Sooner or later I always call your name,
Without you, Lord, I’d go insane.

I’d go insane because I don’t have anything to gain,
But I have plenty to lose.
I never one to lose you.
I’ve already pushed everyone and everything else so far away from me.

I don’t know how to feel anymore
I said I’d do better, are you keeping score?
Because I lost count a long time ago.
And I’m just afraid that I will wind up below.

I imagine myself in the pits of Hell, gnashing my teeth.
Screaming, “Lord, help me!” I’m so scared to fall underneath.
I’m afraid that I’m going to fall short of your love, glory, and grace.
Those qualities of yours are what I chase.

So I pray, Lord, please heal my broken soul.